Lighting Assistant and Behind The Scenes Video: Anthony Colagreco
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The Next Vixen
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All of my life I have heard my mom talk about her modeling days. When she did she would always recall her fond memories of a photographer named Tony Ward.
As time went on I have grown to be tall and thin like my mother and received several compliments and suggestions that I should become a model.
When I turned 18 recently I remembered the fond memories that my mom spoke about and the desire to model because it was a life goal.
Learning that Tony Ward chose me to be part of his Vixen series was a welcomed surprise. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about this honor. I hope I can make my mom proud and prove to be the fierce vixen that Tony Ward obviously sees in me.
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Shawna and Nefertari Williams. Photo: Tony Ward, Copyright 2023
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Behind The Scenes
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Text by Shayna Williams, Copyright 2023
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The day we spent weeks preparing for finally came, the day of the photo shoot. It had been seemingly countless days since my mother mentioned it and it went by faster than expected. The night before the shoot we spent picking clothes, planning makeup, and even deciding which heels are the best. This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen my mother in a photoshoot so I was expecting the same basics, but this photoshoot was different from others.
In the car ride there, sighing from exhaustion after spending a night preparing for the upcoming event, I heard “here we are!” and looked up to see a nice house. My first thoughts were “I’ve never seen my mom do a photoshoot at a house, I wonder how this will work” and “I hope we didn’t overpack, I wouldn’t want to make a mess in somebody’s home.”
We bring the bags past the front door, I look around and I notice how beautiful everything is. I immediately got an artsy vibe. I knew the photoshoot was gonna be amazing after seeing how nicely decorated everything was.
After being instructed to put the cases in a dressing room, as we walk in my sister says “look at the walls” and we see erotic photos. I’m personally okay with the idea of the human body being art, in fact I like the idea of it a lot. My concern was my niece who had also tagged along and saw the pictures. But she was fine with it as well!
My niece and I walk to the backyard, which is also decorated very nicely, and sit to relax. I notice a brown building that appeared to be under construction behind the main houses on the property with a door on it. I learned later this was the new Tony Ward Studio under construction. At this point I’m thinking the photoshoot will happen outside, but when my mom and sister came out they walked right into the new studio that was under construction. I followed along and saw a nice photography set with a Paris themed backdrop in the room. It was truly different, but already more intriguing, than any shoot I’ve ever seen my mother on.
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During the photo shoot I decided to walk to get ice cream at a place called Sprinkles with my niece. Elkins Park, the neighborhood about 10 miles north of center city Philadelphia where the shoot took place was very nice as well! On the walk back I decided to sit outside and wait for the rest of the shoot to finish. Once it did we started cleaning up and were told to get ready for the lunch that was prepared for us. I wasn’t really expecting one but it was really good! I enjoyed the food, especially the broccoli!
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After the shoot, lunch with the Williams family.
It was sadly time to go afterwards. As we were walking back to the car I was thinking about how new this experience was. I’ve never seen a shoot done in such a unique and remarkable way. I’d love to go back again. Even if we won’t be taking pictures the setting alone was amazing.
We invite you to join us for an exploration of human vulnerability and the timeless beauty of the unadorned form. “OBSESSIONS” is an ode to the human spirit, a celebration of the profound authenticity that lies with us.
Kitchie Ohh: Photo courtesy of Dynamite Dames Photography, Copyright 2023
Text by Kitchie Ohh, Copyright 2023
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No Matter What’s on the Menu
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When I was a kid, my dad was on dinner duty during the week, and I was a very picky eater. We had a running joke when I asked what he was making, there were usually multiple pots and pans in use on the stove. He would lift one lid and say, “this is eww.” He’d close that, lift another and say, “and this is yuck.”I usually disliked at least one element of meals and would say so, often in those exact words, eww and yuck. Ugh, why couldn’t he just make stuff that I liked?Thankfully, I’ve outgrown that. My tastes have changed, I try new things but still, I like what I like. I can do so without need for commenting on the parts I don’t, or that others do, now. To each their own, doesn’t bother me at all.
Apparently, not everyone grew out of their ‘eww/yuck’ phase. Many grew deeper into it, digging so far in as to make remarks anytime they see someone consuming food they dislike, or declaring anyone who likes something prepared differently than the original way, or the way they prefer, wrong or that the recipe isn’t authentic, and the person can’t be truly enjoying it.Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza soapboxers, I’m looking directly at you. Seriously, though, can’t we just let people enjoy things? I don’t need you to compare my tofu to all kind of nastiness as I’m eating it, or tell me that I’m doing something scandalous by eating pickled ginger with my sushi roll, or heaven forbid, having peppers on my cheesesteak. I am fully aware that not everyone likes tofu, ginger is included as a palate cleanser, and a “Philly” cheesesteak doesn’t call for peppers, but I LIKE these things…and don’t recall asking for your input. The fact that all of these things are made, sold, and consumed widely show I am not alone, so there.
The eww/yuck idea spills over from food preferences into all aspects of life, though. No matter who you are or what you do, someone is going to have something to say and it won’t always be kind. Or welcome. Or even directly to you. And there is little to nothing you can do to change that.
We’ve covered food preference, and I went light on that, believe me, it could have been a longer rant. But let’s hit some other topics shall we? Let’s start with physical appearance. I am a brunette. I’ve gone lighter, nearly blonde for a while, then to the other end of the spectrum with a near-black brown. I’ve gone pink, purple, and for the longest stretch, red. it’s been extra long, quite short and every length in between, straight, wavy and curly. I’m currently letting it grow, trying to figure out what my actual hair color is and allowing the grey to come as it may. At nearly every point in my hair’s lifecycle, I was told I should do something else with it, wear it some way other than how I liked it at that moment, because another person would prefer MY hair their way. I was told I was too old to experiment with colors, that it wasn’t professional. All unsolicited and absolute nonsense. Because, for every ‘eww/yuck,’ there was a ‘your hair is fabulous.’
Continuing with the physical, I’m not a person who often shows a ton of skin. But sometimes, my choice of clothing reveals that I have a few tattoos. I recall one time at a gala fundraising event for my job, I chose a strapless dress, paired with a classic updo for my hair. I was having a lovely conversation with a guest in my line at the registration table, face to face. A question they asked required me to turn around to pick something up for them. This person who had been so lovely to my face, gasped and said aloud,“ugh, well THAT’S trashy, it ruins the whole look!” When MY upper back was shown to not be the pristine skin they would prefer. They took what I had handed them and walked away, glaring over their shoulder with the eww/yuck look. The person next in line apologized and asked me all about it saying they always wanted tattoos but were too scared to get one.
How about more of a less permanent aesthetic example, hmm? I adore a vintage look. I spent a not insignificant amount of time in social circles, claiming to be inclusive, that did as well. I – or anyone really – could be impeccably dressed, made up, hair done, the whole shebang, for an event. For every compliment, there was an insult or backhanded comment dished out. Well that’s not TRUE vintage. That looks like a costume. You and a million other people got that look straight from Amazon. There would often be whole groups of people passing judgement on anyone who didn’t meet their ideal of what someone should look like to be at this event. But I still will say I met some amazing people, despite such eww/yuck reactions from a small (but loud) segment.
And now for something a bit more intangible: personality, life choices, etc. As a forty-something, heterosexual, single female, I am constantly asked rather inappropriate questions by, or hear comments and suggestions from, well-meaning individuals about improving my life. To be perfectly clear, the improvements are most often ways in which I can align myself better to the ideal woman’s role of wife and mother. A role I do not at all identify with. Let’s face it, if I haven’t drank that kool-aid by now, honey, it ain’t happening. So things like telling me how if I stopped doing this or started doing that I could get a man, and how much easier my life would be with him in the house to take care of me and fix things; saying I will regret not having children, and couldn’t possibly mean it when I say I have no intentions of getting married, and a thousand other variants of these things isn’t cute, appreciated, or necessary. I won’t change my mind about who I am and what I want because it doesn’t align with your opinion. No one should have to for anyone, or any reason. I can take care myself, and the home I purchased for myself, by myself. I am enough; it’s a shame you can’t see that.
For all of the times we laughed at the dinnertime eww/yucks, even the times I actually thought it of the things that were on the menu, I’m grateful the idea didn’t stick. I can experience something and decide ok, that’s not for me without the compulsion to tell others it shouldn’t be for them either simply because I don’t like it. All of this to say, I recognize and appreciate we are each different. From what we like to eat, to how we like to look, to who we spend our time with (or don’t) and how, to the choices we make for ourselves, big and small. No amount of eww/yuck attitude from anyone should deter us from being who we are and enjoying the hell out of the time we’ve got, no matter what’s on the menu.
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Kitchie Ohh. Photo courtesy of Dynamite Dames Photography, Copyright 2023
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kitchie Ohh is a full-time professional fundraiser who has worked with a number of health and human services nonprofits in the Philadelphia area over the last 20 years. She found her passion for modeling after a pinup-style photoshoot in 2013. Since then, she has worked with many talented photographers, stylists, hair and makeup artists in a variety of styles. She has been featured in- and on the covers of – multiple print and digital publications. Over the years, she has branched out from pinup studio modeling to serve as a figure model for live sketching, walked a runway, and was part of two campaigns for Philadelphia designer K. Vaughn.
In addition to her philanthropy-focused career, she has volunteered with art, historical, and community organizations, and even the events team of a local brewery for a while, pre-pandemic.
You’re just as likely to find her whipping up something deliciously plant-based in her kitchen or knitting a sweater as you are to find her on a photography set. Her motto is “be both.” The model and the homemaker, sultry and sweet, serious and silly. All the things, all at once.
Miss Kitchie Ohh. Photo: John Raphel Photography, Copyright 2023
Text by Kitchie Ohh, Copyright 2023
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What If
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I have this incredible knack, when planning – an event, personal or professional project, travel, what have you – to look for every possible scenario that might happen so I am never unprepared. Honestly, in all my years, I have sometimes even considered impossible ones just to be safe should they somehow occur. I’ve been told it’s a trauma response, a way to self-regulate should the situation trigger my anxiety. But I’ve also been told it’s a superpower, making me one of – possibly the only – level-headed person, able to react in a productive way when the shit hits the proverbial fan. Its a quality that has saved the day more than a few times, but I wouldn’t consider it my highest-ranking character trait.
This same need to see all outcomes before acting is also how I approach decision making for myself. Of course, I’m not referring to every choice I make; I don’t run through every menu option before making my lunch. However, given my inability to grocery shop without first planning out meals for the entire week, I can’t say with certainty that I wouldn’t have a daily lunchtime decision spiral. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. Decisions. Prior to making moderate- large-impact choices, I need to carefully weigh all the options. Years ago, I not only considered every choice’s impact on myself, but everyone else in my life, and I mean EVERY one. I was a stressed mess all the time, worrying how I might upset, hurt or inconvenience others. Thankfully, I’ve learned to limit that part now; considering myself and only those who might be immediately, and likely negatively, impacted by my decision.
The primary questions I ask myself before moving forward with any of the weighed options are:
“Can you live with the outcome of this decision?” and “Can you live with yourself after making this choice?” For example, I had a job offer late last year. It came with an enormous pay increase, a life-changing one. However, during the interview process, so many red flags were raised. It left me feeling…conflicted. Could I take the offer and use the cash? Absolutely. Could I live with compromising myself and my sanity in the process of earning it? Not a chance; money isn’t everything. I declined and went on to accept an offer that came with a slightly lower salary but significantly less – as in none at all! – moral compromise. That’s just one example. I’m are I could bore you to tears with loads more. I won’t. You’re welcome.
It’s quite common for people to look back at decisions they’ve made and wonder, “what if I did it differently?” It’s also not unusual to get stuck in that pattern of second guessing. I’m not immune to it. Despite laying out every possible option and choosing the best outcome that I could live with and retain my integrity and self-respect, I still catch myself wondering, “WTF have I done?” and entering into a period of questioning all of my life choices and whether they were the right ones. I have, however, developed a habit to get me out of that headspace.
Much like my pre-decision process, my post-decision self-doubt spiral prevention process, whether immediate or years later, starts with asking myself a question. I reframe all my “what ifs” with “What if I didn’t?” It’s a slight variation, sure. But it puts a positive spin on it. I look at the choice I did make, and where it lead me. I focus on the good things my choice allowed, not the bad things I could have avoided. Because I don’t think that avoiding bad things is at all possible all of the time. Sometimes they’re inevitable and they add value in the form of lessons.
Here are some chosen at random, in no particular order, examples.
I was extremely unsure of what I wanted to be when I “grew up.” After graduation, I opted out of college, favoring moving out of my parents’ home and entering the workforce at nineteen. It was fully my decision, weighed carefully. I was proud of myself but the what-ifs creeped in often back then. So what if I hadn’t done it? I would have missed out on so many experiences. Surely, I would have avoided some huge mistakes, but without having made them I wouldn’t be the person that’s writing this now. Who knows where I would have gone, what I would have done, who I would become. Yes, I am still proud of the decision.
Speaking of those early mistakes, during those first “on my own” years, I was head over heels in love with a very wrong for me guy. I often questioned, then, if that final straw that ended things was the right choice. I LOVED himWhat If I stayed? What if I accepted that half-assed marriage proposal? Oh, but had I stayed, had we gotten married, the the things I would have missed out on are too many to even comprehend. His drug use and mental health issues were never mine to fix. But I know that by not making that painful at the time choice to walk away, I would have sacrificed all of me, and my happiness, in the attempt to save him. Solid choice, no regret.
A few years back, I was invited to attend an event, a weekend away. It wasn’t my thing, but being supportive and wanting to spend time with the person who invited me, I agreed.Aside from the complete 180 degree turn in their behavior toward me for the entire weekend, I had a great time. The following year, the event came around again. I had no intention of going, it was near guaranteed I’d have to face that person again after purposely avoiding them since returning home from the last one. Remembering how good a time I had despite them, and at the coaxing of friends, I chose to go. It was an expense I didn’t budget for and a guaranteed weekend of awkward run-ins. At many points on the way to, during, and immediately after this event, I asked myself what if I didn’t attend this one? I could have paid down my credit card bill, stayed in pjs all weekend and just relaxed. But I didn’t. I would have missed on deepening relationships with new friends, on the adventures we planned – and ultimately went on! All of the happiness, the living! that I did because of my attendance at that event wouldn’t have occurred if I took the option that kept me at home comfortably avoiding ONE person. A resounding “hell yes, I’m glad I went!” And gratitude beyond belief for everything I experienced as a result.
Again, I’m sure I could come up with many more anecdotes from my life to illustrate the point here. But I’ll leave it at three, and one final glimpse into the inner workings of my brain.
Before actively engaging myself in this new method of not looking back and what-iffing myself to oblivion, I mentally listed out the choices I had and their potential outcomes. Constantly question and be stuck, never trusting myself and my choices. Always wonder what if and end up repeating old patterns, with the same people, trying to change the outcomes but never actually learning or growing. Be decisive and accept consequences – good or bad – and learn from both. Grow with each confident step toward the future, looking back only to reflect and remember how far I’ve come and how much further there is to go. Forward.
When that short list was complete, I realized, I couldn’t live with the outcome or myself if I had opted to continue looking backward, second-guessing.
I would hate to wonder, some day in the future, what my life might have been if I hand’t prevented myself from getting stuck in reverse. And so, I won’t.
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Miss Kitchie Ohh. Photo: John Raphel, Copyright 2023
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kitchie Ohh is a full-time professional fundraiser who has worked with a number of health and human services nonprofits in the Philadelphia area over the last 20 years. She found her passion for modeling after a pinup-style photoshoot in 2013. Since then, she has worked with many talented photographers, stylists, hair and makeup artists in a variety of styles. She has been featured in- and on the covers of – multiple print and digital publications. Over the years, she has branched out from pinup studio modeling to serve as a figure model for live sketching, walked a runway, and was part of two campaigns for Philadelphia designer K. Vaughn.
In addition to her philanthropy-focused career, she has volunteered with art, historical, and community organizations, and even the events team of a local brewery for a while, pre-pandemic.
You’re just as likely to find her whipping up something deliciously plant-based in her kitchen or knitting a sweater as you are to find her on a photography set. Her motto is “be both.” The model and the homemaker, sultry and sweet, serious and silly. All the things, all at once.
Every year, Sony Corporation sponsors the Sony World Photography Prize. Thousands of photographers worldwide enter to win this prestigious award.
This year’s winner was Boris Elgadsen who won with a portrait of two women.
After winning, Elgadsen revealed that his winning image was not a photograph at all, but the creation of an artificial intelligence program.
He said he was just testing to see if artistic competitions were prepared to detect AI creations. “They are not,” he said in an understatement itself worthy of a prize.
Years ago when Photoshop first became available, a traditionalist photographer told me, “This is the death of real photography.” In a sense he was right.
It used to be that photography represented reality, at least for the most part, because manipulations were difficult. Photoshop changed that. Now, we won’t even need a photograph or photographic elements as starting points to create an image. Just describe what you want to an AI program and it will create it for you.
AI is also capable of generating sound. Using the Telegram app, users can create false voices. The hacker group known as Torswats offers services such as closing down a school with an AI generated bomb threat for $ 75. For $ 50 they will they will call in a report designed to have police raid a person’s house and haul him off in handcuffs.
Beyond photography and malicious use of AI, using the app Replika anyone can create a virtual human. A boyfriend or girlfriend who will love you unconditionally, and look and act as you choose. Many users say they prefer these artificial people to the real thing. Using a VR headset, you can interact with them in a virtual reality superimposed on your own reality. The only downside — you can’t touch or be touched by them — yet!
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About The Author: Bob Shell is a professional photographer, author, former editor in chief of Shutterbug Magazine and veteran contributor to this blog. He is currently serving a 35 year sentence for involuntary manslaughter for the death of Marion Franklin, one of his former models. He is serving the 13th year of his sentence at Pocahontas State Correctional Facility, Virginia. To read additional articles by Bob Shell related to UFO’s, click here: https://tonyward.com/bob-shell-film-makes-a-comeback/
