Lighting Assistant and Behind The Scenes Video: Anthony Colagreco
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The Next Vixen
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All of my life I have heard my mom talk about her modeling days. When she did she would always recall her fond memories of a photographer named Tony Ward.
As time went on I have grown to be tall and thin like my mother and received several compliments and suggestions that I should become a model.
When I turned 18 recently I remembered the fond memories that my mom spoke about and the desire to model because it was a life goal.
Learning that Tony Ward chose me to be part of his Vixen series was a welcomed surprise. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about this honor. I hope I can make my mom proud and prove to be the fierce vixen that Tony Ward obviously sees in me.
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Shawna and Nefertari Williams. Photo: Tony Ward, Copyright 2023
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Behind The Scenes
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Text by Shayna Williams, Copyright 2023
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The day we spent weeks preparing for finally came, the day of the photo shoot. It had been seemingly countless days since my mother mentioned it and it went by faster than expected. The night before the shoot we spent picking clothes, planning makeup, and even deciding which heels are the best. This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen my mother in a photoshoot so I was expecting the same basics, but this photoshoot was different from others.
In the car ride there, sighing from exhaustion after spending a night preparing for the upcoming event, I heard “here we are!” and looked up to see a nice house. My first thoughts were “I’ve never seen my mom do a photoshoot at a house, I wonder how this will work” and “I hope we didn’t overpack, I wouldn’t want to make a mess in somebody’s home.”
We bring the bags past the front door, I look around and I notice how beautiful everything is. I immediately got an artsy vibe. I knew the photoshoot was gonna be amazing after seeing how nicely decorated everything was.
After being instructed to put the cases in a dressing room, as we walk in my sister says “look at the walls” and we see erotic photos. I’m personally okay with the idea of the human body being art, in fact I like the idea of it a lot. My concern was my niece who had also tagged along and saw the pictures. But she was fine with it as well!
My niece and I walk to the backyard, which is also decorated very nicely, and sit to relax. I notice a brown building that appeared to be under construction behind the main houses on the property with a door on it. I learned later this was the new Tony Ward Studio under construction. At this point I’m thinking the photoshoot will happen outside, but when my mom and sister came out they walked right into the new studio that was under construction. I followed along and saw a nice photography set with a Paris themed backdrop in the room. It was truly different, but already more intriguing, than any shoot I’ve ever seen my mother on.
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During the photo shoot I decided to walk to get ice cream at a place called Sprinkles with my niece. Elkins Park, the neighborhood about 10 miles north of center city Philadelphia where the shoot took place was very nice as well! On the walk back I decided to sit outside and wait for the rest of the shoot to finish. Once it did we started cleaning up and were told to get ready for the lunch that was prepared for us. I wasn’t really expecting one but it was really good! I enjoyed the food, especially the broccoli!
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After the shoot, lunch with the Williams family.
It was sadly time to go afterwards. As we were walking back to the car I was thinking about how new this experience was. I’ve never seen a shoot done in such a unique and remarkable way. I’d love to go back again. Even if we won’t be taking pictures the setting alone was amazing.
We invite you to join us for an exploration of human vulnerability and the timeless beauty of the unadorned form. “OBSESSIONS” is an ode to the human spirit, a celebration of the profound authenticity that lies with us.
Several years ago, I was spending some quality time with one of my sisters, I have three, but this one’s my favorite. No, it’s not a secret. Our day brought us to the local home improvement store, specifically the outdoor landscaping section. The carts at this store are not the typical shopping cart; they’re open sided, low, and often hard to steer. As we usually do while out shopping, my sister and I wandered away from one another as things caught our respective eyes. Also, as we often do when this happens, we continue talking to one another and suddenly burst out with something like “oooh, come look at this!” to summon the other back. And that’s exactly what happened this day. But remember that shopping cart? As I turned to head back in her direction,I walked directly into the shopping cart whose low profile was completely out of my line of vision. The abrupt stop, and pain, in my lower shin caused a literal knee-jerk reaction and a little hop step away. Wouldn’t you know it? That hard to maneuver thing had turned at the bump from my first step and was slowly rolling in a bit of an arc toward me. I noticed a split second too late. My foot coming down from that upward knee-jerk, landed directly on the bed of the cart and my brain said “nope,” followed by another quick knee-jerk, except this time, having the cart under my foot, I was launched backward. I twirled and flailed like the most uncoordinated ballerina in the world until I finally lost the fight against gravity. Somehow I managed to twist in mid-air to prevent a face first meeting with the ground. But wait! I did not hit the hard concrete floor. No, sir. The universe, apparently, needed more drama. When I finally stopped the panic, I began to laugh hysterically, splayed out in an extra large potted plant, ass in the dirt.
Why share that story? Well, despite my laughing about it, there was a part of me that was so incredibly embarrassed not only to have tripped over something so large that I failed to see, but to have then stumbled and ungracefully crushed a tropical plant with my rear end in public! But hey we all do stupid stuff. We’re human. Sometimes, like this case, it’s completely accidental. We don’t intentionally screw up, but we still find ourselves dealing with the consequence, physically and emotionally.
Falling spectacularly in Home Depot didn’t do any irreparable damage. My bruises healed. I can still peruse every aisle including the garden center without panic. This, of course, was an extreme physical example. But it still raises a question: why do we let other embarrassments that we experience alter us? Worse yet, why do we let the CHANCE of embarrassment do so?
Embarrassment is an emotional reaction. Self-consciousness, shame, awkwardness, they can all be really big feelings – and scary, which is why we avoid them. Can we, though? Should we?A resounding no to both of those questions.
As long as there are people and we worry, at all, what any of them think there’s a chance for embarrassment; it’s unavoidable. That’s the main factor in embarrassment: people. What they see or hear and wondering how they’ll react can be terrifying. Still, we often do try to avoid this unavoidable thing. We are extra careful, don’t speak up or speak out, don’t draw attention, water ourselves down for fear of being too spicy for someone else’s palate. And when a situation arises anyway, we beat ourselves up for it. Extra if our plans to avoid it in the first place failed. If you’ve read the first few posts I’ve written here, you know I’m speaking from experience. Years of constant bullying left me with a coping mechanism of avoidance and to-the-core embarrassment about everything about myself. I know I’m not alone. And I hope I’m not alone in having (mostly) overcome it.
In no way did I wake up one day completely unselfconscious, without a single care about what others thought of me, my interests, appearance, what I said, how I said it, the decisions I made, my life in general. No. I wake up every day and make choices. Control the things I can. Be forgiving when things go awry. Admit my lack of perfection. Accept that even if everything I am, do, and say are perfect, someone will feel differently. When I find myself holding back or shrinking myself down to avoid that self-conscious feeling of embarrassment, I ask myself why is this better? Why will not expressing an idea at the conference table be better than expressing it? It could solve a problem, even if someone else laughs. Why will watching everyone else dance to your favorite song be better than joining them? It brings you just as much joy as them.
Most times, the temporary feelings of being uncomfortable or embarrassed, by far, outweigh whatever avoiding them might take when you get past them. Then having gone through them, we also learn something. Which is the reason, I feel, we shouldn’t plan our hours, days, whole lives around avoiding uncomfortable feelings. The best way is through, right? The lesson could be something about yourself that you didn’t realize before. It could be how to do something, correctly, that you had embarrassingly been doing wrong. It might be as simple as completely enjoying yourself in the moment. And, sometimes, it could be always remember to look out for shopping carts at Home Depot.
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Kitchie Ohh. Photo: Victor Devilbliss, Copyright 2023
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kitchie Ohh is a full-time professional fundraiser who has worked with a number of health and human services nonprofits in the Philadelphia area over the last 20 years. She found her passion for modeling after a pinup-style photoshoot in 2013. Since then, she has worked with many talented photographers, stylists, hair and makeup artists in a variety of styles. She has been featured in- and on the covers of – multiple print and digital publications. Over the years, she has branched out from pinup studio modeling to serve as a figure model for live sketching, walked a runway, and was part of two campaigns for Philadelphia designer K. Vaughn.
In addition to her philanthropy-focused career, she has volunteered with art, historical, and community organizations, and even the events team of a local brewery for a while, pre-pandemic.
You’re just as likely to find her whipping up something deliciously plant-based in her kitchen or knitting a sweater as you are to find her on a photography set. Her motto is “be both.” The model and the homemaker, sultry and sweet, serious and silly. All the things, all at once.
The realms of human emotions are intricate and fascinating, none more so than the delicate dance between infatuation and love. While often used interchangeably, these two terms represent distinct stages of affection that vary in intensity, duration, and depth. By unraveling the complexities of infatuation and love, we can gain a deeper understanding of human connections and the transformative power of genuine love.
I. Infatuation: A Fleeting Flame:
Infatuation is a state of intense attraction and obsession, characterized by a passionate desire for someone. It is often accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions, butterflies in the stomach, and an overwhelming longing to be close to the object of infatuation. However, despite its initial intensity, infatuation is typically short-lived and lacks the stability and depth associated with love.
Infatuation tends to be based on superficial qualities, such as physical appearance or a few shared interests, rather than a deep emotional connection. It is often driven by idealization and projection, where individuals create an idealized image of their infatuation and assign them with unrealistic qualities. Infatuation can lead to a loss of rationality, with individuals disregarding any flaws or red flags associated with the person they are infatuated with.
Moreover, infatuation is characterized by an intense focus on one’s own needs and desires, rather than a genuine concern for the well-being and happiness of the other person. It is primarily self-centered, seeking personal gratification and validation rather than engaging in mutual growth and support.
II. Love: A Foundation of Empathy and Growth:
Unlike infatuation, love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that develops over time. Love transcends the initial infatuation stage and forms the foundation of deep emotional connection and commitment. Love involves genuine care, respect, and empathy for the other person, fostering a sense of mutual growth and support.
Love is not solely based on external factors but encompasses the acceptance and appreciation of the whole person, including their flaws and imperfections. It acknowledges that no one is perfect, but it chooses to see the beauty and potential within the other person. Love withstands the test of time and remains steady even when the initial spark fades.
Furthermore, love is selfless and characterized by acts of kindness, sacrifice, and compromise. It involves considering the needs and well-being of the other person on an equal footing with one’s own. Love is a partnership, where both individuals actively invest in the relationship, supporting and encouraging each other’s personal growth and fulfillment.
Love is not bound by fleeting emotions but endures through challenges, conflicts, and adversity. It requires open communication, trust, and a willingness to work through difficulties together. Love allows for vulnerability and deep emotional intimacy, fostering a sense of security and emotional connection.
Infatuation and love, though often confused, are distinct emotional experiences. Infatuation, characterized by intensity and obsession, is transient and centered around superficial qualities. In contrast, love encompasses empathy, selflessness, and mutual growth, forming a deep and enduring bond. By recognizing the difference between infatuation and love, we can navigate relationships with greater awareness, fostering meaningful connections that stand the test of time.
Photography and Text by Ted Kawalerski, Copyright 2023
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The Saudade of Neal Slavin
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On what turned out to be a beautiful morning in New York, I was walking along Greene Street in SoHo to meet with Neal Slavin in his studio.Tony Ward publishes a monthly blog and he asked me to make a portrait of Neal for an upcoming issue.I had no idea of how I was going to make this happen.I actually like to work this way and just let things evolve. When I hit #62 I rang the buzzer and entered what developed into a magical mystery tour.
Neal Slavin is a legendary photographer/director that I had never met before. He is probably most famous for the pictures that he made of large groups of people. However, there is a lot more work than that.In over forty years I have photographed many famous people and I usually work with assistants and a lot of equipment. For this adventure, I decided to work alone and low key. This proved to be the correct decision.
As soon as I made it to the second floor, I was greeted by Neal’s wife and Producer Anita Burkhart. That set the tone for the rest of the afternoon. She has the kind of persona that you immediately feel like this is going to be a real good day.Neal made his entrance with the same vibe and we went into the main studio. Their combined living/work space is the paragon of an artist’s environment – organized disorganization.It’s fabulous!We sat around a long table and drank a lot of coffee.Anita had to leave but Neal and I spent several hours talking – about a wide variety of subjects.In particular, Neal elaborated about his relationship with Portugal.
In 1967 Neal went to Portugal via a Fulbright Scholarship to photograph an archeological site but he became more interested in the people and he created a collection of black and white images that are incredible. He discovered Saudade, which is a unique Portuguese term that refers to a melancholic longing. This was a time when Portugal was under the brutal dictatorship of Salazar and his pictures reflect Saudade.
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Neal recently returned to Portugal to make a film – Saudade a love letter to Portugal which Neal refers to as “portrait of an artist in search of his soul.” He reconnected with people that he met fifty years ago and he interviewed them for the film. He also shot color stills which are an interesting contrast to the early black and white pictures. Portugal has transitioned to a much different place than when Neal was first there and he was fortunate to have the cathartic experience of personally witnessing this metamorphosis.
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So, finally Neal asked “What are we doing?” Fortunately I had the answer. While we were sitting at the table I was facing a wall that had a large work print of a picture that Neal did of a group of NYFD Chaplains.When I first walked into the studio I thought that I would do an environmental portrait of him.After our talk ended I wanted to do a simple photo.I asked Neal to stand in front of the work print, I moved a light panel that was on and WE made his portrait.I drank so much coffee that I was shaking so muchI had to use a tripod and cable release. Neal looked at the results, gave his approval and within minutes we were done.
Neal Slavin is one of the most interesting people that I have ever met!This is nothyperbolic bullshit! No attitude or egomania. Just intellect!
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About The Author: Ted Kawalerski is a New York based photographer and filmmaker who has been shooting for more than 40 years for corporations, graphic design studios, and advertising agencies.
He has done assignments worldwide of AIG, Bank of America, Chevron, Dominion Resources Services, Ernst & Young, Harris Corporation, Johnson & Johnson, Liberty Mutal, MasterCard, Medico, Pitney Bowes, Praxair, United Technologies Corporation and The Hartford.
Ted lives on the Hudson River in Sleepy Hollow, NY and is involved in an ongoing project to photograph landscapes and portraits along the entire length of the river. This work has been exhibited in one-man shows in New York City at MV Gallery and a The Beacon Institute in Beacon, NY. Another project, “Windows” has been exhibited in NYC and Connecticut.
With two partners, Matt Stanton and Gene Mayer, Ted launched Cork Factory Films, a full service film/video production company. To access Ted’s film work, link here: https://corkfactoryfilms.com/
