Photography and Text by Katie Kerl, Copyright 2019
You Don’t Have to Move on to Let Go
Who would have thought I’d be quoting a Deadmau5/ Kaskade song at my age. Thirty five is slowly creeping up on me next month.
35….35?!?! I’m supposed to have 2 kids, a husband, & the dog with the white picket fence right?
Instead I’ll be celebrating my 35th at Miami music week. Yes, there are endless locations to pick for vacation. That’s just what I enjoy doing. It brings me inner peace. Dancing my life away one week a year on my birthday, to some of the best house music you can find. Eating Cuban food and drinking Mojito’s on the beach until my heart is content. Sounds awful right?
To some people that is actual torture.
I’m sitting here a little high after a hot shower thinking, “What the fuck?” Taking the appropriate steps with someone in a relationship is what we dream about right?
What happens when money and a dream of a different kind of life gets in the way?
Believing in someone is one thing. Supporting their choices is another. Watching it change who they are is heartbreaking. Even if they don’t see it now, or do and will never admit it. Money with no meaning in is an empty feeling.
He said, “I wanted to give you everything.” I said, “All I wanted was you.”
In a world of fucked up dating, pretty vs. money, one would think finding someone who completely understands you would be ENOUGH.
Think again. If you have to fight for the things you find important, and someone dismisses your concerns. It’s time to rip the bandage quickly.
People do not change overnight ,or by accident. They change because something drastic happens. They change because they can’t go on living a lie. They change because the stressful world they live in has beaten them down. They change because life has become unmanageable.
Finding yourself, and not letting go of who you are is just as important as chasing your dreams. I’ve mentioned it before; no one wants to feel dropped into someone else’s life and expected to act accordingly. Gold diggers want that. Not REAL women.
I never want to feel like I have to give up who I am , my hobbies , health , or views on family values for someone working themselves to death chasing money .
Money won’t be there when you get sick, it’s not going to support you when you’re down, and it’s not going to make a home out of the house you live in. You’re supposed to grow as a couple, learn from each other,and accept problems as they arise,and address them together.
If you are so busy taking care of everyone else around you that you forget to be good to yourself, of course you will feel mentally drained and used. A person’s presence will fill the room with joy, or it will suffocate you to the point you feel like you’re not going to make it up for air.
Being single I feel completely free to be my ever weird self. If I let you in you’re special. You’re adding to my happiness that took me so long to find. Once you start taking that away from me, I retreat and go back to doing exactly what makes me happy alone.
Someone out there needed to hear this today. I know I did while typing it. I’m not quite sure if anyone is meant to be permanent in your life, or just come in and out to teach you lessons.
To those who feel they cannot be alone. You truly become the person you are meant to be without any outside persuasion. If you’re stuck making that decision to stay or go, my grandmother always told me to list that person’s good and bad qualities, then make your decision based off that.
Her system has yet to steer me wrong. I am going to continue to be myself. If I find that person to compliment my ever complicated life great!
If not at least I am doing my best.
That’s more than enough for me.
About The Author: Katie Kerl. Born 1984. Raised in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania. Attended Drexel University for Behavioral Psychology .Occupation : commercial/ residential design Philadelphia resident since 2011 . Hobbies include : Foodie, whiskey drinker, fitness , cooking , tattoos , & house music lover . Instagram: @kerl_up_with_kate. To access additional articles by Katie Kerl, click here: https://tonyward.com/katie-kerl-love-the-one-youre-with/