Text by Slater, Copyright 2021
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Who Holds the Key
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When I was younger I never quite felt that I had room to be open and express myself. I always found myself getting close to individuals who were powerful and unabashedly themselves. I would seek out the mean kids, gluing myself to them for protection. I was so enamored by the way they didn’t care how others felt about them.
As I got older and started to have more freedom and time to explore, I found people who I could be more like how I envisioned myself in my head. I found people who wanted to be free like I longed for so much as a kid. When I turned seventeen, I moved out of my parents’ house with all the money I had saved up working long hours in high school. Once I moved out, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t hold myself back from being anything other than what felt right for me and me alone.
And with this promise, I sealed it with a lock and chain around my neck. I haven’t taken off this chain since as a way to remind myself that no one gets to live this life but me, and to commit to letting go of making myself small to make others feel comfortable. Sometimes I find myself staring in the mirror at my own reflection, fumbling my fingers over my lock with such admiration for myself and how far I’ve come from the scared little girl I used to be.
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About The Author: Slater is a 21 year old dancer at Cheerleaders Gentlemen’s Club in Philadelphia. This is her first contribution to Tony Ward Studio.
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